he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
