Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
