when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
