hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He shit in the fireplace
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
