I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
