I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
