On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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