Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
