I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize