can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
