week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
50% drunk capacity currently
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
