You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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