I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize