how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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