dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
