Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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