Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize