the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
