im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
