just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
