you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
