how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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