i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
