I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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