dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
