You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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