i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
