I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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