a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
