C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
