people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
