He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize