**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize