Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
