i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
