In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
