I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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