giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
