1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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