i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
