Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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