i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
