as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
