i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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