everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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