Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
