He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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