I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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