hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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