The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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