Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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