no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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