just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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