YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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