Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
