belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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