was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
