Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
