Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
