Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
