I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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