what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
