do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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