oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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