kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
