His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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