I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i need some magic done to my vagina
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You don't make any sense
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