Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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