did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
