3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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