pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need a beard to bite.
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