i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
